Swedish Girl In London

London Life: Bright Lights, Big City. Now what's on TV?

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Smoke 'Em Out

I’ve been smoked like a salmon. Everything on me smells as though it has been rubbed in the smouldering ashes of Ernest Hemingway’s humidor. My eyes, previously of a harmless green tint, have turned in the bloodshot look of the devil, and I’m not even going to mention my hair.

And the person who had the pleasure of smokin’ me out like this? It wasn’t me; it was an extremely pretty little Italian creature sitting next to me in The Midas Touch.

Now, she may have been cuter than a baby penguin in a bow-tie, but I still wanted to beam her to a galaxy far, far away.

What’s up with me? Am I turning into some boorish goody-two-shoes who should stay in with my Soduku and let the creatures of the night get on with their devil-may-care partying?

“Non-smokers are like vegetarians,” says Football boy. “Boring!”
“Red meat and red Marlboros is your style?”
“Too right it is.”

But what do you say? Are you with Football boy, or are you too secretly clamouring for that smoking ban the government has been bandying around for ages?


At 5:33 PM, Blogger Niklas said...

Don't know about smoking, but red meat is practically the foundation of all carbon-based life forms. We shall perish without it.

At 11:15 PM, Anonymous south american girl said...

I don’t smoke and I don’t like people who smoke into your hair or face, either -- I cannot even stand the nasty smell of the what's left on ash trays -- but I do like red meat :-( Let’s say that I’m a moderate red meat eater. Well, in my country, it’s almost unthinkable not to have red meat in your menu at least three times a week… We can't help it!

At 11:55 PM, Anonymous south american girl said...

By the way, I’m not with Football Boy. Where’s the link between eating red meat and smoking? I cannot see that connection because red meat IS different from red Marlboros.

At 12:01 AM, Blogger The Queen said...

heya, swedish girl, I am queen shagsalot, or in other terms, icelandic girl in london. i was just recently pointed to your blog and would just like to say, you are perilously amusing and i completely understand the underlying though very covert hatred for smokers who smoke all over you. oh and the sudoku, maybe not somuch as i suck at math, but my boyfriend has been sucked into the sudoku word and oddly... carol vordeman- should i be worried?

At 9:58 AM, Blogger Swedish Girl said...

Right... so red meat stays but Red Marlboros are out! I'm all for that.

Welcome to my blog, your highness from Iceland! Good to hear your with me on the smoking front...

At 10:32 AM, Blogger josephknecht said...

I'm going to stand up for my kind here.

Now. I don't approve of 'smoking all over people'. I try to keep my smoke away from any non smokers, unless we're in a pub in which case it's utterly fruitless. I won't smoke while people are eating, and I will always ask people if it's okay to smoke rather than light up straight away.

That said, I will defend to the death my right to kill myself in the manner of my choosing. I try to be as polite as I can...

Red meat is good, but Malboro Reds suck. Gauloises all the way.

At 3:56 PM, Blogger Léonie said...

I used to smoke. I loved smoking, but now that I am a Non Smoker (Variety: Smug) I hate the smell of it all over my clothes and tangled up in my hair.
Joseph has tried to tempt me back to the ways of the nicotine but has not succeeded and will not because I am strong. Ish.

Red meat, however, = good. Steak is wonderful and should be encouraged.

At 6:54 PM, Blogger Scott Lord said...

What I really think is some vapid chick is going to come in during dinner and puke on her panties, forget the guy she's with and claim the atmosphere drove her to it.
I also think that a drug free Europe is more important than whether people's feet smell.


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