Swedish Girl In London

London Life: Bright Lights, Big City. Now what's on TV?

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Switchboard Safari


Recent features have led me out on a safari into the jungle of corporate switchboards. Believe me, you have to be top of the food-chain to survive, not to mention reaching your intended interviewee.

Switchboard Music and Messages - National Differences:

1. “I Just Called To Say I Love You” by Stevie Wonder. Top marks to the Italians for style and charm.

2. Bagpipes. The French know how to make you stop wasting their time and hang up.

3. Digital Vivaldi. The Germans get your inner conductor going, although it does startle you a little bit when a beepy stanza is interrupted by a teutonic “Ja?”.

4. “All our lines are currently busy, an operator will be with you shortly.” Now, I won’t reveal what nationality this is, because I have to accuse them of lying. It pains me to say it, but there you are.

An operator will not be with you shortly. An operator might possibly pick up the phone when he or she has finished grounding the coffee beans, steaming the milk, pouring the cappuccino, sprinkling chocolate in a heart-shape, asking Betty if Andy in Accounts is ill, discussing what illness it could be, ruling out meningitis and finally putting the coffee-cup back after carefully washing it out. Then, and only then, might the operator pick up.

Not that I particularly mind. It gives me time to swivel around in my chair for a while and review my interview strategy.

5. Unidentfied Latin pop. Venga España!

5 Comments:

At 6:40 PM, Anonymous Nothing But Bonfires said...

I need to stop reading you at work. I can't disguise the snorting anymore, and I'm starting to get strange looks.

 
At 5:45 PM, Blogger Cindy aka Epicentre said...

I used to have "I Just Called To Say I Love You" on my answering-machine, but had to give it up after several deathtreaths from my friends...

 
At 6:05 PM, Blogger Swedish Girl said...

Thanks, Bonfires! :-)

Cindy - haven't we all been there? I distinctly remember a very embarrassing message that I sung - you heard me, SUNG - along the lines of "Hey, howya doin', I'm sorry I can't get through to you..." with a friend giggling wildly in the background.

Happy days!

 
At 9:42 PM, Blogger Cindy aka Epicentre said...

Try calling to everyone you know's answeringmachines when you're drunk, just to give them your version of "det var en kyckling som hette gullefjun". Quite fun to get the responses the day after, especially if you dont't recall any singing... ;)

 
At 9:17 AM, Blogger Swedish Girl said...

Cindy - blast from the past!! I remember Gullefjun! That ole chick.

 

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