Swedish Girl In London

London Life: Bright Lights, Big City. Now what's on TV?

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Behind Bars

Yesterday I had arranged to met Doc in The Gun for some food & a pint after work. I promised to be there at around eight o'clock, but a last minute news story kept me in the office, which made me feel very important and news-houndy. I didn't quite growl: "Gotta cover my beat, you know" , and stick a pen behind my ear while ferociously tapping away at a typewriter... but that's just because I didn't have a pen and we don't use typewriters anymore.

When the story was done and dusted, I said protracted farewells to my colleagues - because I don't seemt to be the sort of person who can just say bye & fly. It has to be a lot of humming and ahhh-ing before I can finish off with a cheery "Anyway!" and stumble out the door.

Downstairs I realised that someone had already locked the gate outside the door, which is bad news for someone like me, who is also unable to operate keys in a normal fashion. Keys don't like me, locks don't like me, and I certainly don't like them. Some Russians had randomly gathered outside and were interestedly following my wild-eyed attempts to get the gate to open.
"Vant help?" one offered kindly, but I felt a little bit wary of giving my keys to someone on the other side of some iron bars, and instead gathered reinforcements from my colleagues. Everybody arrived en troupe, very excited and brandishing kitchen knives, but the bars remaind shut.

In the end, the Russian guy had had enough of our incompetence, grabbed one of our kitchen knives and opened the door with one expert twist. We were all in awe, but also (very unfairly) a bit disconcerted by this.

Then the trains were delayed and by the time I arrived, breathlessly, at The Gun, I thought Doc would be furious. I found him by the fire, happily sipping his Guinness and in coversation with another lot of Russians.

The Russians are definitely coming, but contrary to old Swedish folklore, dating back to the 18th century, this is not a bad thing. They get you out of the office and keep you entertained in the pub.

4 Comments:

At 6:37 PM, Blogger Zen Wizard said...

Note to self:

Write Congressman about liberalizing Russian immigration, to thwart locksmith shortage...

...and keep guys company during obligatory female tardy bar arrival.

 
At 9:23 AM, Anonymous svenska said...

London is filling up with Russians, they are everywhere, its like the Russian invasion!

 
At 3:15 AM, Blogger Zen Wizard said...

"Keel moose and sqvirrel!"

Boris Badenov.

 
At 3:36 PM, Blogger Magnetic Mary said...

"...because I don't seem to be the sort of person who can just say bye & fly. It has to be a lot of humming and ahhh-ing before I can finish off with a cheery "Anyway!" and stumble out the door."

I feel soooo indentified with that... I'm like that even on the messenger...

 

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