Swedish Girl In London

London Life: Bright Lights, Big City. Now what's on TV?

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Date Etiquette

La Señorita’s date had gone swimmingly until she asked the guy if he wanted to get married. Now, there’s a difference between asking someone if he wants to get married and actually proposing, as La Señorita would point out to friends in the days to come.

After all “Do you want to get married?” is a general question, sort of like enquiring whether someone likes blue pyjamas or plans to go on holiday to Greece this summer. You know. Just making conversation, that’s all.

“Will you marry me?” – now that’s a proposal.

See the difference?

Besides, it wasn’t like La Señorita’s question was totally unrelated to the topic of conversation. They had been talking about 24, the TV series, and imagined how awful it would be if your family was kidnapped (as you do).

Suddenly the question had left La Señorita’s mouth. She could almost see it shivering in the air, like a cartoon character running over a cliff, legs pedalling in thin air for a couple of seconds before it dawned on it:

Oh my God, I have run over a cliff.

And after that, all you can do is plunge into the abyss, of course.

“Forget Jack Bauer and his longest-day-of-my-life schtick, those seconds were like hours”, la Senorita told me afterwards. “The guy was just staring at me, and I was staring at him, thinking how I could get out of it.”

“And what did you do?”

“I just started laughing. I couldn’t help it. I was laughing for the rest of the night, basically. Whenever I thought about his face, it just set me off again,” she chuckled.

“And did he laugh?”

“No. He patted my head.”

“That’s good,” I reassured. “At least he didn’t bolt out of there, jumping over furniture and crashing out of the window.”

“Ah well, what can you do?”


At 12:06 PM, Blogger Curiosa said...

Hmmmm, I've never had a date pat my head. Although, I've never asked a guy to marry me, either. Except Alfons, but he's my coffee dealer.

At 12:09 PM, Blogger Swedish Girl said...

I agree that the head-patting should normally come later on in a relationship, if at all.

Head-patting and red-hot passion somehow don't seem to go together.

At 2:04 PM, Blogger josephknecht said...

Head-patting is, I agree, not ideal; however, I still believe the chap showed admirable reserve in not spontaneously jumping through the window, rolling Bauer-esque into a crouch, and running for the hills.

Fine work by La Senorita.

At 6:05 PM, Blogger Mel said...

Ya, the patting of the head is a little iffy. Funny post though...I learned a long time ago not to bring that stuff up at all (even though it's a legitimate question). Guys always assume that women are dying to be married (to them)and they invariably get freaked out.

At 6:23 PM, Blogger Swedish Girl said...

I know! What is all that about? You can't even say that you like "Lord of the Rings" before they take the jump from "ring" to "wedding" to "my bunny is dead".

Guys, you need to relax.

At 6:34 PM, Blogger Zen Wizard said...

I see the difference, but I still "hear my Mommy calling, so I gotta run, and here's fifty bucks that should about cover everything we had, plus a nice tip..."

At 10:02 AM, Blogger Swedish Girl said...

I suppose the things is that La Señorita is the last person to want to get married...

Normally it's the guys who go all clingy on her and drive her nuts...

She just hasn't developed the necessary antennae for sussing out commitment-shy people - girls or boys!

At 3:33 PM, Blogger hen said...

Well... the head pat sounds ok. I have to admit to never feeling the need to pat a woman's head on a date but I am surely it meant he thought she was sweet. Look on the bright side - at least he isn't worried about head lice.

At 5:16 PM, Blogger Zen Wizard said...

If a guy pats you on the head on a date, make sure and check the incest laws in your jurisdiction before the proverbial third date.

(Or FIFTH date, under the British system...)

At 5:57 PM, Blogger hen said...

No it is 3 now. We have gone metric - some EU thing.

At 5:01 PM, Blogger Léonie said...

I love that he patted her on the head. As if to say, 'Ah, a novice. How endearing.'

I think that accidentally asking someone to marry you on a first date ranks high up on the scale of Things Not To Do, alongside the leaving the bag of shit on the table of your one night stand's kitchen. Well, maybe it isn't quite as bad as that.

Good work, La Senorita. I applaud you.


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