Swedish Girl In London

London Life: Bright Lights, Big City. Now what's on TV?

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Trust Me, I'm A Doctor

My boyfriend Doc thinks he know everything.

He claims to have unearthed the Chaos Theory by the age of five, for example. By the time he was fourteen, he had developed a sure-fire way to prove if there was life on Mars (it has something to do with the DNA spiral, I think, or maybe that was the cure for cancer. Sometimes I glaze over).

Of course he was too busy snogging girls, drinking beer and smoking oregano through his teens to actually do anything about these scientific discoveries.

Yesterday, I felt that the time had for him come to prove himself in the Ultimate Test of Intelligence.

"Baby, could you record that time-cop show for me tonight? I'm meeting Le Francais, so I won't be home before nine."
"I don't think I will, either ---" (here, I'm editing out a long description of the slightly annoying habits of his aristocratic boss, prone to demanding new reports just when people have switched off their computers and are finally homeward-bound).
"Can't you time it?"
"Can't you?"
"No, of course not."
"Really, you should learn. Call yourself a feminist."
"OK, I will learn, but could you do it today?"

I stopped in my tracks.

"You don't know how to do it either!"
"You can't time the DVD!"
"In theory, I know how to do it..."
"And you said you know everything!"
"I do! Everything apart from that."
"Nope. Now I've lost all my respect for you. I don't trust your omniscience anymore."

But after a couple of minutes I relented.

"Nevermind that you know nothing. I love you."
"I know."



At 9:19 PM, Blogger Zen Wizard said...

Okay--he's SMART; but timing the DVD??

Even Stephen Hawking doesn't know how to do that!!

At 3:13 AM, Anonymous south american girl said...

His last line -- “I know” -- was not a good one; it ruined the previous pronouncement!

Had not overcome your “aurrgggh” state when you read this comment, why don’t you ask him if he “knows” what “baryonic matter” and “dark matter” are. But before doing so, have a look at this link:


I hope you find it useful.

At 3:47 AM, Blogger Lucky said...


Now don't accuse me of gloating for team Y chromosome, but I think the Bloke's brilliant!

You fell for the oldest trick in the book! He pulled the same thing with the laundry, if I remember correctly.

Come on now, there is a section on the DVD timer in the "guy manual." It's actually a piece of cake, but if he had set the timer this time, then he'd have to do it next time too....

I'm guessing he still doesn't pull his weight around the dirty dainties, does he?

And the line: "Really, you should learn, call yourself a feminist...:" Brilliant.

At 6:34 AM, Anonymous mia said...

You know who he reminds me of? Astrid Lindgren's "Lotta på Bråkmakargatan".

"Det är konstigt med mig. Jag KAN så mycket. Jag kan allting faktiskt. Fast det förstås, inte slalom...."

At 10:31 AM, Blogger Léonie said...

Ah that old trick. The man's a genius.

The only retaliation is to learn how to do it and then boast about your superior knowledge until he caves and cannot take being the one who doesn't know how to do it, and will learn quick-sharp.

Fight fire with fire, my friend.

At 8:25 PM, Blogger Swedish Girl said...

Fair point, Zen.
And an excellent suggestion, south american girl!
Lucky - that's an evil laughter... surely YOU are not in on this plot against womankind?
mia - Ha! Exactly! I'm probably like that myself...
Léonie - yup, that's the trick. It might take me fifteen hours, but it will be worth it.

At 11:56 AM, Blogger ChickyBabe said...

Men only know how to flick channels on their remote control. when it comes to programming or, dare I say, changing the clock for daytime saving, they fail miserably!


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